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Showing posts from 2014

The end of 2014 as I see it.

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Reflecting, what are some life lessons I have learned this year? I learned that I am responsible for me, and me only . That choices made by others cannot be changed by me - only by them. No matter how much I plead, pray, and cry. They have control of their choices not me - the only thing I can change is my response to their choices . There is freedom and fear in learning this. Freedom of responsibility and fear that they may never change. That life is very fragile and life as we know it can change in a heartbeat . That the curves thrown at us can be debilitating and so unexpected. That perfect circumstances can become broken and joy can trade to sorrow, but Jesus is the only constant and the only trust I can always rely upon. People are human, they make mistakes. Only Christ is perfection, and I too am human and will make mistakes and will be disappointed. I can only learn, repent, grow and move on to make the mistake something better than what was. This year was a very marked year

29 Years ago

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I was the wise age of 20 here. In a year I would be married to someone who served himself as much as I served him. I would become a mom at only 22. I loved that day.  I had a purpose - a drive and was motivated by a little codependent being. I would not grow to understand how I got in the mess that would happen when that sweet baby becomes 13, until a few years later. There was a challenge produced on facebook - if you could go back and tell your 20 year old self one thing, what would it be. Well I gave myself a little more lee-way - it is after all a fantasy. So here it goes: Hi Karen, Please learn to believe in yourself, quit doubting and fearing, you are smarter, kinder and sweeter than most, and that is a strength, not a weakness. You will have amazing children- but find someone who compliments you in goals and aspirations to raise them, to keep them from having to struggle so hard. Take some dares and go ahead and do the things you second guessed yourself in - because you

reflections from the Middle

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As of June third I am 49. The day wasn't spectacular, it was a work day - plans didn't pan out - one of the grown children had a need to meet so hubby and I went to dinner rather late at a box restaurant. Ruby Tuesday. Which wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't felt like an after thought. No present - no card - not like any other Birthday I have celebrated with my Matthew. I went through a lot of emotions. Angry, hurt, deflated, forgiving, reflective and in the end okay. I definitely took a moment to tell him I must be spoiled on my Birthday as usual. Spoiled for me is just having my husband dote on me a little, card, surprise gift (which doesn't need to be expensive) and just a little extra special sprinkled on my day. He was sorry and I don't think he will let me feel that again. Some people may think I am selfish about this so the inner analyzing took place. I am 49. I am on the other half / side of an expectant life. I have a good relationship with a man I adore a

Run Little Dog Run

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We have two dogs, both completely different. Lacey Loo our Labrador is mouthy but extremely intelligent. She can express easily and readily what she wants and needs. She is just a voice away from actually telling me what she wants, and WHEN she wants it. Little dog, Casserole. Well...Not so much. She functions well, and makes up for her lack of intelligence in sweetness. A sweetness not reserved for anyone in particular. Even warned, family and friends have fallen for Cassie, hook, line and sinker. She needs attention and demands love, and is loyal to no one. She acts as though she is neglected and you are the only one that can fill the need. So - Everyone falls in love with the little gal. She is majorly spoiled by the husband who cannot escape her charms. Cassie has a new game - She actually has help, about once or twice a year, Cassie gets 'free' and finds new people to love. We have tried to figure out where and how she gets loose and now know th

A Story about Excellence

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There is a Story with this, such as only I would be able to tell, because it fits me so well. A while back I received an invite to a luncheon at our main office in Dover, 2 hours away on a work day. I work well over 40 hours a week and time away would only make it harder to get all the work in and it frankly didn't interest me. I am not a crowd person and prefer my little hometown office where I and Richard - the editor and my boss - work. I love my job. It is a mile from home, keeps me busy and i can fit in my girls on a regular basis. I couldn't have asked for more. I paid no more attention to it than the man-in-the-moon and continued my little routine. Last week I started getting emails from others that work from other offices and the main branch congratulating me, telling me 'job well done' - huh? Finally a co-worker from Dover, who I have met up with congratulated me and I asked why. She says "for your excellence Award Silly!" Again..Huh? She sent me the

Its about the Journey

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Let me tell you where I am at in life. I am settled with my husband in a sweet little home that needs some renovation, which I will do. Our lives were drastically changed after the Super Storm Sandy which completely shut down our mom and dad grocery store which was struggling. Our Money is wrapped tight in stocks for another year and a half, surviving for over a year on a small amount of unemployment. My husband is now a correctional officer at a prison and I work for the local Newspaper. The last of the girls have moved out, and have flown. No one is married yet, no one is close to that. But all are between 19 to 26 years of age. From Teacher, waitresses to Tattoo artist. My life book jumps around a lot.Unexpectedly, the pages get in a rhythm, you get the feel, becomes predictable and then 'pow', a brand new chapter that looks nothing like the rest. But my husband and I even have changed in look, our diets have changed and we are shedding weight as though

Training yourself to be a POLITE Tech Junkie

What is a Tech Junkie? Well the Urban dictionary explains it this way: "A tech savy person who cannot function/live without constantly being connected to the current Technology. This person is constantly thinking and/or talking about the current tech or whats just around the corner. Whether its the internet, HD tvs, gaming consoles, smart phones or the latest Blu-Ray release, this is the guy you go to for your tech info & advice. " I am that girl. That means my smart phone has all the latest aps on it. It sleeps next to my bed. It is my alarm, my communication, and my hangout with my non-local buddies. When I wake I check my phone for the weather, the time and any important appointments on my calendar. I then pick up my kindle, check Facebook, play my on-going word games, click into my devotional and write in my journal, and if have time, watch a Ted Talk, all the while the TV is running the morning news in the background. If driving somewhere new, my gps is telling