The end of 2014 as I see it.

Reflecting, what are some life lessons I have learned this year?

I learned that I am responsible for me, and me only. That choices made by others cannot be changed by me - only by them. No matter how much I plead, pray, and cry. They have control of their choices not me - the only thing I can change is my response to their choices. There is freedom and fear in learning this. Freedom of responsibility and fear that they may never change.

That life is very fragile and life as we know it can change in a heartbeat. That the curves thrown at us can be debilitating and so unexpected. That perfect circumstances can become broken and joy can trade to sorrow, but Jesus is the only constant and the only trust I can always rely upon. People are human, they make mistakes. Only Christ is perfection, and I too am human and will make mistakes and will be disappointed. I can only learn, repent, grow and move on to make the mistake something better than what was.

This year was a very marked year to see the frailty in our parent's lives. That growing old is not easy. That grace is obtained through patience. That one day I too will be feeble. That I need to prepare my life financially, physically and mentally. I need to be prepared to deal with things I never dreamed of and that money and things are just that. I cannot prepare to lose a parent, but I certainly can have a game plan to take action when it does happen.

I have learned less is more. I prefer less to clean, less to move, less to gather dust. I want to do more, see more, not gather more. What I do gather I want to replace the broken or unneeded. I want to make our home and life more functional for when we are less functional.

Watching your children struggle with decisions is not easy. I give advice and lend a hand when needed - or asked. But I also learned that they trust my advice, so I am seeing the bridge I built when they were young being crossed regularly now. I appreciate, love and respect them and I know for sure, life is not simple or uncomplicated, quite the opposite.
My heart hurts when their does, and my prayers grow in earnest for them more regularly.

I know what real happiness is and I don't take it for granted, instead I appreciate it. Happiness is achieved without money. It is achieved when you can look yourself in the mirror and accept and appreciate who you are, then do the same with those you love. 
Happiness grows, it has depth and it has wings.

A friendship in a personal relationship is very important. I am fortunate to be in love with my very best friend - we are there for each other the best way we know how. Its not perfect, and it is downright silly at times but I would not want to walk along with anyone else. Love is a splendid thing, when done the right way!

Comments

  1. LeniDecember 29, 2014 at 12:59 PM

    You've got some good wisdom here. That first point is soooo important. I can only control me (and not even me, sometimes!) Trying to teach self-government to mostly-grown kids is no easy task, and you know the heartaches I've shared, but I'm trusting Jesus to watch over the things that I'm not supposed to be taking care of any more. He loves them more than I do, and that is what I cling to. Happy New Year, my friend! May we see more of each other in 2015, God willing. ;)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Long Road Home

The first time I drove that long 9 hours alone I wondered how I would survive years of this trip. I barely could stand the time away from the girls, from my husband. I was always missing someone. Still am, but the little girls have grown to not need me as much. We are very close in heart and in spirit, but don't need the proximity. They have packed my items with me and they have rearranged, bought new colorful appliances, there are flamingos on our - err, their shower curtains. They have hung posters of concerts and white boards galore with notes of jobs, meetings and plans that they don't need me to tote them to anymore. I am so proud and so sad, and so happy. All at once. I remember carting our two weeks of groceries in the trunk of my car and enjoyed seeing their faces as I had tucked small gifts in the bags for them. As they helped carry  and put stuff away we shared triumphs and disappointments and new friend stories. Permissions were granted, lunch money sorted a...
Read more

A Coffee Lovers Grateful Heart

The party was a success.  I made a point to see each of my friends and talk to them, it was an open house so thankfully, I could do this as each trickled in at their own time throughout the day. Thank you Gael. You are a doll. I have good friends. Who ever was unable to come wrote me a letter or note on facebook or on my phone. It has humbled me, it has made me ever so grateful to the large hearts I have associated myself. There are awesome faithful people in a world that has been cracked and split on me. These are my glue, they have grounded me. We have listened to our tears, rejoiced in our triumphs, leaned on each others' shoulders and loved, graciously. I was the recipient of such yesterday. I am humbled, I am grateful and I am blessed. The radio station yesterday had a question, they were asking the audience, If you were to die would you want to see who came to your funeral? Perhaps the greater question would be, would you regret not doing more, not being there enough for ...
Read more

Shhhhhh....Its Just Me

I hate a big Ado about anything pertaining to me. I am an introvert. My close friends find this a bit humorous to consider, but publicly, I am. I don't seek friendships, for many reasons. I have so much to try to balance on my plate. I don't trust many. Time is precious, If I give it to you, I want it in return. I have two friends who I have stopped seeing. If they hap upon me, it is with hugs and joy, they share tidbits then tell me to get ahold of them. They never have called me. When I do call them they are anxious to set up a date and time to get together, but their fingers have never tapped out my number. They will be at the party Saturday. Oh. Didn't I tell you? I do have a girlfriend who is the complete opposite of me in so many ways. We have maintained a friendship through so much (She deserves her own post, I will expand upon that at a later date) She is the extrovert; the Thelma to our Thelma and Louise Adventures. She asked if she could throw a 'leaving NY ...
Read more